Just Manda

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Never really went out for st pattys day soooo
we decided to do it this year, and have our first green beers !!
i was supposed to start work last week but they messed up
with the references and clearning stuff so i start
here in the next few days, im super excited.
I think babes and i are closer than ever
and its an amazing feeling.

i cannot complain
-xoxo

to love, is to be free
10:20 AM;

Monday, March 7, 2011

was doing good then fell off for a bit

blogging that is

well I got a job !!

I start next week and will primarily

be in the lab but will float on some days

im super excited because that means

me and my baby can finally start looking

for a place we can call our own !!

not to mention i got some money

that i didnt plan on so that def helped

so once i get a check or 2 under my belt

we will start the process, its very exciting

plus we all know i love to decorate

so im all excited about furniture and etc

and him and i picking out things TOGETHER

i love it

ill do some more later, i gotta
pick up baby cakes from work

-xoxo
M.

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to love, is to be free
8:10 PM;

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

things have been good, i got called back

for a 2nd interview next week and

a first somewhere else tomarrow

im having an insecure day

why do i try to measure myself

to someone i am not

i despise that

my tech step daughter has fb

and ive been talking to her the last few days

how cute is that, that she still wants to chat with me

to love, is to be free
1:46 PM;

Thursday, February 17, 2011

still debating wether to do a vlog there since its more interactive but eh i dunno

to love, is to be free
12:28 PM;

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

You said I was beautiful, you said I was the one
And you said you couldn’t live without me,
you said I was everything you needed
Trust we’d be together,
and that you would never leave me.
　
You started slipping,
days spreading out further,
feeling more empty
Nights alone, my pillow soaked with tears,
where is the man I trusted to come home
Before I know it, you are more vacant,
perfume on your clothes, numbers in your phone
Why are you doing this, why are you leaving,
what about all those nights…you said…
____________________________________
another older poem

vulnerable mind, gentle soul
dont touch me that way again
you make me cringe inside
a thousand lives over again.

dont call me 'doll' or 'sweetheart'
you dont know who i am
all you know is a look and a reaction
but you dont know what kind represents.

my face is of fragile glass
and you shatter it without knowing
i smell just the way you did, but still
a thousand showers will not erase the night.

you say you are man and yet let me walk
3 oclock in the morning and i am running far
far into the night because i wish it never happened
i will fall asleep tonight and wake up still remembering.

you never took the time to understand me
but then classify me in being like every other woman
you will never begin to understand who i am inside
never in a thousand years will you ever know.

to love, is to be free
8:48 PM;

i been hella tired the last few days,

before the other night i hadnt been home

and sleeping in my own bed for like

the last week bcuz we been running around

and over the weekend celebrating bdays

and went out of town for one night

had alot of fun but we know me,

mrs sourpuss was cranky most of saturday

i think my body was just wearing down and

i needed to be STILL if that makes sence

my unemployment should be finally

rolling in and that will help

im steady filling out applications for

my field hoping something will happen

but i can only stay strong for so long,

im tired of stressing and worrying

but always been like that and

dont know how to change it.

oh and vday got lovely written words from the man

i adore handwritten things, since this world is such tech driven

its nice to see real love letter, a physical testiment to love

i love him him all of my heart.

to love, is to be free
3:04 PM;

Ex-husband decided after 2 years

of being seperated that he would pay for divorce

which he was supposed to half a long time ago

but he needed it done asap so woohoo

i wasnt sad, i wasnt happy

it just needed to be done

i have general concern for him

as he said he has been having

anxiety the past few months

and there is just a familiarity there

its not anywhere near final

but at least we started the process !

to love, is to be free
2:56 PM;